If you want sex during the day you have a couple of choices:

(1) Stay by the pool and hope you get lucky with the neigbours (more likely in gay establishments!

(2) Hit the dunes. Although there are designated naked areas on the beach (and some are primarily gay) the best place to get some sex in the day is behind the beaches in dunes.

The dunes are exactly what they say they are - dunes. Miles of sand. The gay men head for a wooded area where you lay down your towel and wander round (naked) or just wait to see what happens.

Some Dos and Dont’s:

DON’T take mobiles, ipods and anything you don’t need. The local thieves know what you’re up to and there are regular reports of thefts.

DO take plenty of water and sun protection as there are no facilities and it gets very hot Occasionally a local entrepreneur will wander through selling water/beer etc but he can’t be relied on. Even more occasionally a straight couple will wander through which must be a new experience for them.......

To get to the dunes first head to the Hotel Riu Palace Maspalomas at the bottom of Avenida de *****. Walk through the arch to the bottom of the road and marvel at the sight of the dunes heading out towards the sea. Remember to take the obligitoary photo with the camera you haven’t brought with you and then head off to the right down the stony slope and follow the trail of other half-naked men, probably wearing short hair cuts and the odd tattoo.

At around 4pm you will notce that some of the visitors (probably German will start packing up, having first brushed off the sand with the handy little brush they took with them (jealous?). This means that the first bell has rung (see Elvira which you missed because you were stalking that gorgeous Spanish looking boy who turns out to be from Manchester.

This is when the natural instinct for afternoon Kaffee und Kuchen becomes stronger than that for sex. They will probably be heading for Cafe Wien in the Cita centre or possibly Bar RAINBOW? on the main road. The Brits don’t really have an equivalent so they stay until the second bell when you follow the trail of cum and lube back to your accommodation to prepare for the night’s activities, having applied cukets of After Sun as you try to make up for having unsafe sun.